21 huh?

it's gonna be a boring blog. so 21 huh, alot older and somewhat wiser. we ain't gonna talk much about birthday cause well yeah I am the worst guy to even have a birthday. last 2 years I surrendered myself to people around, like you have read in my 2023 birthday blog. 2024 blog was skipped, i wrote it mind you, that to in 10 mins! A poem kind but let the writer keep some precious things to himself. but this year no more surrendering. we will do it alternate years haha. well this year has been alot different. I am the person I always wanted to be and the person I never wanted to be. confusing ik. I have achieved alot this year, not a brag but the people who have read every piece of mine knows where I am coming from. I am not the person anymore who hides behind the words or let the poetry flow, I am not someone whose afraid to speak his mind out, turns out I am someone who changes a situation if I don't like it, I am the most confident I have ever been in life (not more than 6 year old laksh) but yeah, professionally I am doing really great as a 20 year old (ik I can do better mr 21), might not be making movies yet but we do have some plans. Can you believe the guy who wrote how mental health problems took control of him, is now directing, meeting various people every day, performing in front of a live audience , and the most funny cringe part takes out his camera anywhere and everywhere. I know how perfect it all sounds but trust me it takes alot. I have seen my lowest too this year, I won't speak about it cause the war still hasn't been won, we do have to go fight every day but it's the price i have to pay for all the highs. I have been the most happiest too this year ironically. I had to see my highest highs to have the strength to fight my lowest lows. and no it all wasn't possible just like that or I am that great of a person. Like I said, I have survived of borrowed belief at times and even tho we don't realise it, the people around makes you the person you are, for worse or betterment. Ironically someone made me both, credits where it's due. Wise enough to know things would have happened anyways no matter what I changed or did differently. faithful enough to know gods taking care of it all. yeah when you get older you believe more in that guy. so lets just be grateful for all the love, happiness, highs and strengths to fight all the lows. celebrated it like my birthday, kept a promise, held a mirror, hoped the best for everyone. alot of things have to be changed and I am on path of it. Blessed to live a life I lived, when we look back it all makes sense. 

This year showed us what top looks like, we belong there, and we can be there, maybe next year while being there we find the fulfillment, the happiness that's still missing , and even if we don't we will win the war and everything anyways, it's laksh after all. 

'A Birthday'

-Laksh